Antony and Cleopatra -- Preshow

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Why is everyone so tall all of a sudden? No thanks, my doctor said no food or drink for 6 hrs before sticking a sword in myself... Wow, good thing there're no swords for me! Hold still, I've almost got my podiatry merit badge! Even villians have to have clean fingernails... Oh God, he caught me again! So, would you rather have gray, gray, gray, or this nice silver one? That Cleopatra had real taste! I hate it when the director micromanages! So the good news is you all get swords. And the bad news is you don't get to stab anything... Why are there two of him? I can really predict your future if you eat any more of my dinner! Laundry, laundry laundry, all I ever do is laundry! No wonder the Egyptians conquored to known world... Die, Ceasar! So guess what air instrument I'm playing... Sigh, eyelash plucking AGAIN! Don't grab the blade, you fool! Can't bend, nope can't bend at all... Dead or alive, you're coming with me... And if looks could maim, the old photographer would have left in a basket... Caught in the act... I feel like a house elf in this bedsheet... I can just FEEL him taking a picture! All the little gauzy bits in the right place? Good! No feeling in my fingers no mo... Volunteers at play... Those silly actors sure do some dumb stuff... You mean this isn't an audition for Wicked? Oh baby... Portrait of the painter as a young tech...